A mean, green landlady (Day 334)…

January 28, 2008

As I mentioned in my last post, I’m about to become a landlady — my new house is far too big for one measly little person, so I’ll be renting out the basement and sharing my kitchen with a new tenant.

But it can’t just be any tenant — I want to make sure to get an attractive, six-foot-tall, single, male, well-adjusted, funny and intelligent tenant with a kick-ass wine collection, solid but critical familiarity with pop culture and ironic yet kind-hearted sensibilities.

Kidding! Well, sort of. Actually, what’s most important is that I find someone who’s going to abide by all my green rules and appreciate all I’ve done to make this house eco-friendly. I don’t particularly want to shack up with a dread-locked hippie, because while I enjoy the occasional morsel of tofu I really don’t enjoy the smell of patchouli and B.O.

But I do want to live with a person who turns the tap off while brushing their teeth, who recycles anything and everything, who will agree to a couple CFL light bulbs and who will then make sure all those light bulbs are turned off whenever they leave the house.

I’m not really going to be a mean landlady, but I am going to be a green one — maybe I’ll even print up the contract on 100% post-consumer recycled paper with soy-based ink — and whoever lives under my (eventually solar panelled) roof is going to have to live by my rules.